Non-Jews are for practice
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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