just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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