I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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