Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
