she was so not down for the gang bang
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
