How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
