The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
