Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
