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shes about as inviting as chlamydia
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
