SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
