babies were throwing up all over the place
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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