seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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