tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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