no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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