am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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