how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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