also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
smell my finger.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
