i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
