i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
