R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize