I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
my liver is dry heaving
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
