it was like his penis was on wheels.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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