We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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