yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
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