Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
