come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
