so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
