Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza

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  (703): Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza http://tfl.nu/9pba
  Replies (7) Good night (2911) Bad night (445) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian

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  (616): David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview? (773): Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian http://tfl.nu/r8u6
  Replies (4) Good night (2365) Bad night (454)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"

  (541): View more from Oregon

  dude.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.

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  (503): this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor" (541): dude. (503): yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating. http://tfl.nu/t5uc
  Replies (21) Good night (699) Bad night (3733)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.

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  (586): just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me. http://tfl.nu/oae8
  Replies (26) Good night (8627) Bad night (648) Order T-Shirt
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.

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  (478): I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths. http://tfl.nu/2srv
  Replies (38) Good night (10293) Bad night (1929) Order T-Shirt
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist

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  (901): so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist http://tfl.nu/ofkb
  Replies (12) Good night (4876) Bad night (912) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"

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  (701): They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?" http://tfl.nu/4dfl
  Replies (8) Good night (4488) Bad night (906) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.

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  (330): You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test. http://tfl.nu/znwq
  Replies (4) Good night (4991) Bad night (933) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense

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  (484): so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense http://tfl.nu/m14d
  Replies (8) Good night (1791) Bad night (524) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.

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  (205): Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up. http://tfl.nu/igo8
  Replies (6) Good night (2276) Bad night (412)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it

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  (641): She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it http://tfl.nu/mwwo
  Replies (7) Good night (902) Bad night (320) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.

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  (785): Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life. http://tfl.nu/uwxb
  Replies (12) Good night (518) Bad night (1416) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?

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  (404): Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint? http://tfl.nu/u2ry
  Replies (4) Good night (984) Bad night (215) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".

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  (920): You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died". http://tfl.nu/180h
  Replies (4) Good night (793) Bad night (208) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone

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  (828): I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone http://tfl.nu/fll1
  Replies (1) Good night (269) Bad night (819)

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