no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.