Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks