After last night, I could never be a politician.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize