Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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