I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
