And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
