hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize