Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
