Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
