I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize