so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
