Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize