Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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