The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
