You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
