you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
