STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
