I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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