He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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