May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I lost the right to judge tonight
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
