Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Randomize
