Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
