Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
The ass gains better be worth it
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