Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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