You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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