I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Found the puke drawer
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
