Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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