Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
