ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
