I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
