We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
