i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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