I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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