She said her name was "party"
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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