it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
