My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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