found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
