i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize