If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
