Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
