Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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