My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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