I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
