So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
did you just send me my own nude
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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