soooo we both peed the bed last night...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
