I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
